AuDN4T

I do want to own up to my comments and conversations on fb years ago and with friends.

I truly believe we are constantly learning. I’m also learning that my conversations or comments may come off wrong. I do also want to take accountability for that. Because I recognize it can still hurt and when you’re left with a very short comment snippet where the communication between people can be very short and RSD or echo chambers exist on fb… it’s an overly weird space. Throw in russian bots. Social media I feel like has been a failed experiment? Am I wrong on this? How do people feel about it?

Anyway – I remember making a statement around Indigenous People and Canada Day and how it took time to break up that racism. It took a while for Ukrainians to get through it. But I didn’t know the entire history. I had so much more to learn about how the authorities treated our Indigenous People…. the nutritional studies on them… I mean you can equate this to what Hitler did to Jewish People when they were in concentration camps. They ran insane medical experiments on them. Throw in that no one notified people of Grassy Narrows for 8 years about the mercury in their water and fish and followed a “let’s see” approach. Complete USSR move. How many towns in the USSR had been unknowingly been exposed to nuclear waste flowing into their water… Chelyabinsk? What about the girls dance camp during the nuclear warhead tests in New Mexico, USA?

The more you learn about these atrocities, you learn how governments have failed us. How they have failed our Indigenous People. How they how resentment. And rightfully so. When you’re taken away from your parents and forced to learn a new language, forget your culture and language…. this is no different to what is happening to Ukraine now. The reasons I’m including paralleled examples is to show that we are all impacted in this and need to work together to make these wrongs corrected… and that history repeats itself in various formats. We also need to somehow educate those in power of their privileges and how they are hurting us…. if they even care….

I understand the anger can come off rough around the edges and hard to hear. Sometimes…. militant or abrasive? I might be categorized as someone who is drinking the “pinko” koolaid or whatever. The terminology is what is used in institutions to analyze these injustices. “privileges”, “constructivism”, “deconstructionism”, “heteronormative”, “people in power”, etc. It’s that “basket weaving” course Doug Ford talks about…. I hate using that term.

These are the realities though.

Who has been in power? Typically White, Straight, WASP, men.

Who are on the fringes? Forced to fight more for themselves? BIPOC, women, LGBTQ+…. I’m not sure if I’m missing any other category? Migrants and immigrants? I feel like there might be others. Those with disabilities. And if they can’t fight for themselves. What happens? What happens when they’re just exhausted? They’ve looked at all avenues to fix things but they’re just constantly put in a box? What kind of behaviour do you get? Do they lash out? Do they speak in harsher terms? Do they feel betrayed by people? Does it become a more difficult conversation to have? Do people spin their wheels while they’re put in jobs they know they could do more in? How do people feel when they’re not given a liveable wage or housing or healthcare or safety or or or…..

It was not ok of me to put Indigenous People into that box of…. we need more time to remove that racism. When is enough, enough? After seeing the perpetuated racism… even in Thunder Bay…. reading more and educating myself on how historically Indigenous People are treated in various environments… even at home. I think it’s fair for them to say land back…. we’ve fucked it up… haven’t we? Maybe not us directly with our ancestors but we’ve consistently voted for governments that have done nothing to make any reparations and ensuring people are not further injured by corporations that are not held accountable. Because they don’t care…. the corps don’t care. the governments don’t care. They follow with the American standard of taking shortcuts.

How many reserves are without clean drinking water? 38. Can you imagine not being able to drink water out of the tap? Ever try to drink boiled water? I hate it. I don’t think a lot of people like it whatsoever. But then the bottled water is $50 a case. You’re really mistreated these people. Are you ok with that? We can have Indigenous People talk about it. They deserve to be that voice. Though, I know they’re tired of trying to advocate for themselves. I understand that.

I also find it funny that I had managers assume I was just a Liberal voter. That I loved voting for Kathleen Wynne. I was actually annoyed with her spending billions of dollars on a gas plant and didn’t speak with anyone and when we spoke up about it.. it didn’t come to fruition… but they waste billions of dollars… and no accountability. They fail to understand that I also tried to do a protest Facebook group lol. And perhaps the fact that it was cancelled shows our privilege while the ring of fire seems speaks differently. There’s something different about this government though…. the forced vanity projects…. and so many of them. Too many of them. The system feels broken. Those that are to serve us, don’t truly serve us. They just say we’re doing this and proceed with it. It’s like political rape? I don’t know how else to word it. We can also just talk about the lack of competency on topics that they have no business managing. No one asks what people want. No one asks what the Indigenous People want. Things are just packaged in a weird way… like getting a perogie with toilet paper inside of it (as my Polish paternal grandma would like to troll the family in Poland on Christmas Eve… never met her, but it’s quite the story).

I reflect on the pride march in Toronto during BLM. I know the LGBTQ+ community was a mixed bags on either approval or disapproval of the sit down. I found myself agreeing with my friend on the topic of disapproval on the sit down. I stand corrected on it. I haven’t thought about it in quite some time, but I know how the Black community felt about the reactions were hurt by it and I have a feeling it still stings? I may be wrong. We remember those injustices that hurt.

I am sorry to those that were hurt who were mistreated. I think many have to look at your experiences from a different lens. They need to understand your struggles better.

We all might not align on everything – but that’s like that anywhere in the world. But I think majority of us want that security in life – clean water, food, housing, safety from climate change…. reversing climate change however we can… and it’s not someone a select number in power with money that should make that decision for us. We outnumber them and they are to serve us, not their own interests.

There’s a lot of pain and injustice in this world… but we need to find ways to reconcile with them. The people we are neighbours with, work with…. are good people.

I still think back to Shevchenko’s words:

"Learn, my brothers,
Think and read,
Learn from others,
But do not shun your own."

«Учітесь, брати мої,
Думайте, читайте,
І чужому научайтесь,
Й свого не цурайтесь».

You have so much to learn from others and the world around you. And be kind to others.

I think it’s also important to own up to one’s mistakes and learn how they’ve impacted others. I hope I have… I hope I’ve made comfortable safe spaces for those that I’ve wronged.

Though, I personally still have a hard time with politicians and execs… a lot of damage has been done. I know there are people who care… but the facts, numbers remain the same. Real actions need to be made.

First – I want to talk about Marcy Borders. Seeing a Facebook article about her, made me further look her up on Google for a news article because I don’t know what’s real and not real anymore. Seeing her photo – I remember vaguely seeing her photo decades ago. It’s almost dream like? 9/11 was one of those events you don’t forget. I know some feel and remember it more vividly. AL remembers her morning. I remember it partly but it’s more so when I came home and hearing my father talk about the US having to stick its nose where it shouldn’t. (Oil). Irregardless of this. I remember being glued to CNN watching the rescue efforts. The facade of the WTC lit up in rescue lights. You wanted an update. It’s kind of like an update of what I’d find myself decades later on Reddit on the Boston Bombing… and when Redditors accused the wrong individual, resulting in them committing suicide.

There’s a balance between reporting what you can and when you have enough information, facts to provide to the public before incorrect information is reported. Kind of like how the court system works. Similar to making a conclusion before you have a full on picture of everything. In some instances you could make conclusions based on trends (i.e., state of the province and country).

Huge tangent /end

I think about Marcy Borders. We have thought about the immediate victims but we always forget about the victims impacted by the events – psychologically impacted and health impacted. You can extrapolate this to other events like Chornobyl, Algoma Centre, workplace deaths, Marco Muzzo’s actions. You only see the immediate iceberg effects – immediate deaths. But we always fail to remember and think about those injured, those traumatized, those that end up with health effects. Asbestos is an infinite unbreakable poison that got put in everything… even paint and even to this day we barely know where it’s present. You might have protocols to refuse your product for repair on a site where asbestos abatement might be performed, yet you are not fully aware that it is present right where people are working.

Marcy’s story breaks me. The fact that this event impacted her as she started her career as a law clerk, eager to do her job… and yet witnesses something so traumatic, that coping with it is difficult to function properly. The government failed her. Society failed her. We, as humans, failed her. The fact that mental healthcare is difficult to access in the US. The fact that she went into debt before she could get any sort of treatment for her cancer is a huge failure. People say money isn’t everything – that is true – HOWEVER – it determines if you can access proper healthcare, food, healthy food, afford parking at the hospital (especially when you’re traveling 200km because the government refuses to maintain hospitals with various specialization in your community)… I can go on and on about the incompetence of our governments, but I think people know how it impacts them locally. Marcy isn’t the only person out there – I don’t want to call her a story – she’s a person – someone’s daughter, sibling, spouse, mom, aunt. There are many people out there with similar stores like this and more light needs to be shed onto them and their families – more support. Have their feedback provided on how to make things right. This goes for the Dryden mill. NEPO babies that get away with murdering an entire family resulting in their parent committing suicide from the destruction they have caused. Kevin O’Leary… or his wife? Who was it? who killed people by boat? Mike Harris killing people in Walkerton. How is this ok? How do we have politicians over and over and over again getting away with murder due to garbage policies, getting rewarded with chair positions in places they have no business in? LTC?????? Mike Harris? Who killed people in Walkerton? Does that make sense? And his son needs to get an MPP position and is begged by his father to be that PC candidate… but can’t manage environmental topics in Ontario? Make this make sense? Have we settled for garbage? Do we not deserve better?

We truly don’t even need a 9/11 in Canada where terrorists cause chaos. Sheer negligence and incompetence causes death – cancer – building collapses and fires. TTC lined with asbestos spray fireproofing in the stations and tunnels; where the pressure can cause it to become dislodged. Condo owners coming to their wits end and killing the condo board because they were not listened to. Algoma Centre collapses due to negligence of maintenance of the building (and there are many structures with neglect). Collins, ON and adjacent areas impacted by wildfires that were negligently managed by the government. We can easily be the next Detroit where people just want an insurance payout while they deteriorate a building. I can easily go into other garages and point out deficiencies but this doesn’t pay my bills.

ADHD moment – I’m dismayed that the news agency didn’t try to get more help for Marcy and her hospital bills. I understand wanting a good news story or that shot – but come on! That’s exploitive.

IDK – if any money was profited off of my photographs – I’d want to make sure those that are struggling end up getting a cut of that money. Sure I like photography and it can create an interesting image but it’s a two way street too. A person can’t profit off of someone struggling and not give back to them. It doesn’t feel fair? Yes – it gets the story out there, visibility on the topic but idk. Doesn’t sound right…. similar to that one photograph of the indigenous woman – The Migrant Woman. Hearing her story was heartbreaking. Someone took a photo of her but there was visibility on the topic but she struggled as someone with poverty and health issues and the government never supported her. It is an iconic photograph but it also sucks that the individual wasn’t taken care of as human being – housing, food, healthcare, liveable income, etc.

Brain is bouncing from topic to topic and it’s clear in my writing.

Also taking a while to adjust to the MacBook Neo. Not used to the shortcuts (I like to fw or rw in a writing line either based on a line or word…. and hitting fn, control, option, command is throwing me off. This is the annoying thing switching between windows/chrome/mac.

With respect to the collapse of the WTC – if it was an inside job or attributed to the plane strikes – I know AI will say one thing. Some will think from an engineering standpoint, it is not possible. I don’t know what to think – because you don’t want to think that the government is that sinister. But many governments have sinister agendas that it is difficult to trust – we can even look at the nuclear bomb tests that ended up impacting the New Mexico girl’s dance camp not too far away. All the coverups. Chelyabinsk. Chornobyl. Treatment of Turtle Island Indigenous People (residential schools, starlight tours, highway of tears, Thunder Bay, Collins, ON) and not calling what the treatment truly is. Treatment of Black Americans and stating this was a suicide and not a murder. Treatment of LGBT people (Matthew Shepard) and not calling it a hate crime. Systemically impacting BIPOC people – educationally, medically, with housing.

It truly is an embarrassment. People consistently giving themselves a pat on the back and oppressing others.

I think about where I came from – we’d go to the corner store and say we’re going to the Chinese store. Not that it was a Chinese store but run by a Chinese person. Or were they Chinese? I think part of it was stereotyping? Any corner store. I heard my neighbours talk about going to the corner store but mention going to the Slavic term – Chinese Store. This doesn’t come from a malice place. Kind of how I named my cat – Kitsya. Not sure if there is a term in Slavic languages about corner stores or convenience stores.

I think about our corner store and they’re owned by a Korean family. Super nice family that my other neighbour got to know better. You think of it kind of like Kim’s Convenience – amazing sitcom from CBC… should give it a rewatch. Some stereotypes… and that’s not a terrible thing? We can joke around with it when it’s meant in good intent. They don’t always have a suppressive meaning… right? We can poke fun at ourselves, right?

I think about my mom talking about one of our neighbours and referencing her hair colour. She’s blonde. Super lovely lady. I remember waiting at the bus stop with her as a teenager going to high school.

Not sure why we never get to learn each other’s names more. There’s so much more layer to being the person with blonde hair or the Greek, Venezuelan, Italian, Portuguese, etc. down the hallway. Though I like thinking adding that layer of identity makes that person cooler – it makes them so much more of the person behind their face or hair colour or age. There’s a story behind that person – I’m genuinely curious about our neighbours in our building. What are their stories. Where do they come from. What brought them here. Why did they choose this neighbourhood. What interests do they have. What are their dreams. What are their goals. I might end up spending 10 minutes or an hour talking to them. The small number of neighbours I know is always a pleasure to have a convo with. Seeing them grow as people, as kids, as parents…. is always… I don’t know, just makes your heart smile.

IDK – are we just lucky to live in Canada where multiculturalism is accepted*. To some extent. I know we have a lot of work to do… especially in certain places.

Do I use reverse racial slurs? Yeah – towards shithead politicians who do not give a fuck. I’d rather make them feel uncomfortable since they do not truly serve us as civil servants and only their overlord developers and billionaires. If they want to cry about it – let them cry about it. But an oppressor can’t cry about being oppressed when they oppress others.

Do I feel shitty that part of our building has power while the rest doesn’t? YEAH. It’s not fair. This can be seen as the injustices that this political world has set people up with… in a metaphorical way. Do I care too much? Yeah. Should I? Idk, but if I don’t, I feel like that would make me a shitty person. Have I thought about opening up my fridge to others? Yeah – but it’s a bit chaotic and I feel like it would make others feel weird. Should it be Toronto Hydro and Greenwin’s job figure out how to support tenants? YEAH. Should they give updates on the power outages…. 100%. But nada. We just sit here in the dark with no information. No update. And people’s food goes to waste. What could greenwin do? Maybe set up a mini fridge in the corridor for people to store their food temporarily? Just a thought. At least people are not losing their food that they worked hard for. But what does Toronto Hydro and Greenwin care, right? At least the Green family has food on the table… and more.

With climate change – I don’t think these billionaires and multi-millionaires have thought this through…. I don’t think they realize # of us vs # of them. Starve 98% of the population…. even their body guards won’t really be able to protect them. Just some food for thought.

This is something I have a very hard time understanding.

Maybe because I live in a bubble? Where I think diversity is so important to us. Where you learn so much from others. Is Toronto a weird world where we are cool with diversity and celebrating each other’s cultures? Surely there are other Canadian cities that are diverse?

I get angry that Europe or these select countries that are not ok with refugees and treat them harshly. Who do you think the people who came to Canada and the US were? Who fled communism? Who fled the Kosovo War? Were these people treated differently? Yes. Many didn’t know English. Many had to learn from scratch. Many had to learn how to live with different cultures. Many people never met so many different people from all over the world. And these are your compatriots.

I think about Mustafa Nayyem – significant person in Ukrainian history of Euromaidan. His family left Afghanistan following the Soviet invasion. He could have been treated differently (and I hope he was not). Their family contributed so much to Ukraine. His brother has fought in the war with Russia and was injured. The Nayyem family may not be Ukrainian by blood but they are Ukrainian by soul (sounds better when you say it in Ukrainian).

I think about ethnic Russians who live in Ukraine and they’re so proud to be Ukrainian. I’ve never seen someone fiercely defend the Ukrainian language like Kasha Saltsova (I know that’s her pseudonym, but I appreciate it and her as person). She has done so much for Ukrainian culture and music.

I think about my Twitter friend, Anna, who I met up with years later. She tweeted about Euromaidan and tried to get the facts out about what was going on while us Ukrainians abroad had a hard time getting the most up-to-date info. She’s such a cool person… and a huge fan of Kyiv. And no one bats an eye that she’s also Russian. She is so proud of where she comes from… where she wouldn’t even leave the city to be in a safe place (I know – I offered her to stay with my family in Poland). You can meet some of the coolest people online. Yes – it can be sketchy. But if you can verify who they are – you could meet some really close friends.

I think about Myroslava Gongadze. Her husband was killed for reporting on facts on the government as a journalist. She did not feel safe in Ukraine with her kids and had to flee to the US. From the US, she would report under Voice of America. Imagine your spouse being brutally murdered and they only found their body but not their head.

You have no idea what refugees have gone through. Their worth as a human being is no different from yours. What separates you from them is your circumstances and their circumstances.

I think about this hatred towards Muslims and people of colour in Europe… what do you think happens when you fled a war and you hope to find a safe space? What do you think happens when the west constantly causes war in their homeland? Anger? What do you think happens when Muslims get scapegoated and treated with the same rhetoric that Trump uses – that they’re all rapists. How is this any different from how Jews were treated prior to the Holocaust?

What do you think happens when people are welcoming of you? Do you think their attitudes might change?

If it’s that you use religion – what would Jesus say if you treated the way you treat these refugees or people different from you? What do the Beatitudes say? I think about this – this is something we’d sing in church on Sundays. The priest would walk around the church with the kids (who would hold up paper candles…. and later battery operated candles)… the words always stuck out to me.

Do we truly believe in those words? Or do we just believe in them when we think it’s acceptable or in our favour?

What about the commandments? Love thy neighbour? Is it just some neighbours and not all neighbours? Neighbours you favour?

Again – you have no idea who you might meet that is different from you and you miss out on an amazing friendship because you think skin colour is an issue for you.

Cycling to Etobicoke … eti-bee-coke – eto-be-co… was interesting.

I forgot how shit the trail is.

• There are parts where you have a lot of dips, speed bumps (au natural; tree roots), puddles. You have to dodge all that while navigating through other cyclists and pedestrians and blind spots. It’s not overly accessible for those with walking difficulties or with scooters or parents with strollers.
• Washrooms – there is very limited access to washrooms. I think there’s may be 2 or three in total. The rest are portopotties which are not accessible for people in scooters or with walkers or parents. This is also an issue for people who want to picnic but can’t safely do so with lack of hand washing facilities.
• The previous construction around the section of the trail by Eglinton… I thought …was more extensive. When I saw it today. I was very disappointed. It’s patchwork. A small section was repaved at the old asphalt remains.
• There’s damaged retaining walls; wood and concrete
• There’s erosion occurring in some areas of the trail… which can impact the integrity of buildings nearby. Are we ready for another scenario like along the Scarborough Bluffs?
• Drainage pipes are damaged.
• Bridges rusting in some areas; material is missing.
• Newly installed park picnic tables are not very ergonomic; as a 5″4 person, my feet are dangling. I’m not sure if the ground underneath is missing soil and grass?
• Thresholds between the trail and bridges is not even and can be a tripping hazard and difficult for those with walkers
• 401 underpass is rough. It always was rough. It’s not very visible. It is very hard to see. The lights have not been cleaned in a very long time. It is narrow. It has bridge water draining into this area. It’s generally gross.
• Soccer field nets are showing signs of damage.
• The link between St. Phillips and Cardell sucks because you need to ride the sidewalk which you feel crappy for but there’s no way you’ll ride on the road…

There are likely other issues but I’m overly tired to even go through my other camera right now.

From an SME standpoint – it’s important to have these roles in place. Otherwise you get shit work done.

It’s also important for the SME to present the info in layperson terms. I personally may flex and be more stern because I’m just frustrated with not being recognized for my abilities or leadership not giving a crap.

Definitely important organize info in a way for people to understand better the risks and how we can combat these issues.

Thinking about this weeks ikonography course – wished he had a written rubric of what was expected:

• what equipment is needed
• what difficulty this course was
• what each day entails
• gauging people’s knowledge on symbolism / history of ikonography

Thinking about all the stuff I’m working on – it’s like I’m expanding on a lot of random things – Condos, Apartments, government buildings, workplaces in general, construction, environmental. It’s a lot and feels like trying to put out a fire as the only person trying to educate. I know there are many other great people out there that are educated in this and know how this stuff works. But it’s so important we need to ensure we have health, safety and protection of our environment – and everyone understands the importance of it and does their part. We also need our governments to take it more seriously rather than just slapping one something they think works but doesn’t because they haven’t followed an MOC.

Speaking with the young lady at the legislature today – it made me think… what would I do differently as someone who was graduating.

Reflecting on how messed up the workforce was and still is…

• Need some different method of hiring kids out of school; seems like people get job offers based on knowing someone.
• I think it would be good for employers to have a system in place – or even government had an accommodating system in place for hiring people. The current system sucks.
• Fighting for affordable liveable wages – making $40k for 5-6 years sucked and got me nowhere to even save money for a house or condo.
• If we have neurodivergent kids – knowing what accommodations they need and partnering them up with an employer that would work wonders with them.
• I know many who never ended up getting into the field that they studied – especially Gen X-ers, I know many of my friends struggled to get that job.
• With neurodivergent people – many can have misunderstandings or be bullied for having a different thought.
• The issue is also many employers want 5+ years of experience but they’re not willing to give that experience.
• Schools shouldn’t have a GPA cut off for co-op. Co-op should be available and employers work to get students to work on projects related to their field of study.
• Government jobs – there needs to be some sort of hands on experience in the real world – otherwise the disconnect is real and burdensome. Feedback is taken from all citizens impacted. Otherwise you create a system that doesn’t work.
• Am I glad I didn’t do a Masters? Yes. I feel like I got a lot of experience in the field during those 10 years. Specialized in Occ. Hygiene; saw a lot of different workplaces; met many people… many who were really cool. And some that were shit people… and really need to reflect on how they treat other people.
• The work travel was important – getting to know different people and how different towns work, what they struggle with. Even observing things during vacation days and understanding how different countries operate and wonder why we can’t have THAT – thinking back to NYC – the subway and the bike lanes, or Atlanta’s HOV lane on the left hand side. GEMBA walks are so important. And it’s so important to go and see, speak with people to understand what works and what doesn’t work and why. Taking in that feedback is so critical… rather than just plowing through with an idea and hoping it works or saying it works – like Ford and Trump.
• Management of Change is so critical otherwise you’re struggling with repairs down the road or more costly repairs. This is something that wasn’t taught in school but was pretty critical to know from a HSE standpoint or any workplace or public project.
• Leaders hiring people need to understand a person’s capabilities and potential. Pigeon-holing someone into a role that has stated that they want to get out of so that they can further their experience in something different shouldn’t be decided by the leader but rather the candidate. You’re already putting someone in a box that they’ve said they don’t want to be in. People learn a lot on the job. You shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat of their career – they should be in the driver’s seat… I think about this even from a broader aspect – how our government is telling low income kids they can’t go to college or university because they don’t have the money and are restricting them from getting better jobs.
• Those days where I worked my ass off – where I crashed from long days and weeks – I wished better hours were available – better time off – better pay. I wish I was able to find more comfortable shoes. I wish you weren’t force to wear dress shoes because they’re not always comfortable… especially when you’re walking for many hours. I wish sick leave was more than 3 days. I wish people were given more time off – people work hard. They deal with a lot of stuff at home, with their health, with the environment, with lack of care for our mental health. On their birthdays, on their family member’s birthdays… and employers don’t really give a crap. I wish we had better pensions… I wish we didn’t have to be ground down to people who are burnt out.

What pisses me off about these “Free” Ice Creams and “Free” BBQs is that it reminds me of what they did in Ukraine.

When you had elections, these Putin backed politicians would try to buy votes by giving grandmas food. They’d give out buckwheat because they knew these elderly were on a limited pension. These people had barely anything and you saw them struggling. They’d be on the street selling flowers just to supplement their income. That’s not how someone should spend their retirement. Sitting on a corner trying to supplement their income. And then we have these assholes trying to buy votes by dangling food above their head.

Throw in the fact that our politicians are wasting $30k on BBQs in a single sitting. That’s the cost of someone’s post-secondary education, a car, rent, food, a senior’s pension.

I have no other words. It’s just EFFED up.

When you’re limited to the resources you have, you’re limited to what you can do.

You limit people who could do exceptional things. When you set up an environment that oppresses people, while supporting low grade career politicians and execs… You get garbage quality environments.

It’s like Greece winning Euro Cup. The secret was finding players from the villages who were exceptional rather than continuously pushing forward and supporting those with money.

It’s like bringing a dog poop bag back home to toss out in your apartment garbage chute. You know you shouldn’t, it’s not effective. It would make sense to have a trash can outside and toss it out that way but you do it anyway and it stinks.

Mike Harris Sr did shit policies and killed people. He had no business being on a board of directors of a retirement home and make millions, especially when people were impacted during COVID with limited resources because Mike had to make millions. And yet we brought back a dog poop bag home to toss out again with Mike Harris Jr.

I don’t think I’ve seen it this orange down here. I know it was bad back in 2023 when northern Ontario and Quebec were on fire… And Nova Scotia. It hasn’t been like this here. It was always mitigated.

Seeing people fleeing their homes by boat is fucked up. It’s angering. I’ve said it elsewhere but I can’t imagine what it’s like losing your home. Losing all your things. I don’t ever want to. I’ve heard the trauma from my mom about her parents during war time. I can imagine it gets passed on for generations… I even think about my El Salvadorian friend, who’s dad lost his family during an earthquake. He had trauma years later.

But this here could have been mitigated…

Spraying the land with herbicides to kill off the deciduous trees and only have coniferous trees is messed up. Have a monoculture landscape for logging timber? Deciduous trees hold more moisture. Killing them, you’re now creating match sticks for the fire. You’re asking to mess with the environment. It’s like what they did with logging the forests in the Carpathian mountains. It resulted in landslides and floods. And that resulted in deaths. These fires can result in deaths – directly and/or indirectly.

Add in the fact that we have hotter summers, the fire doesn’t “sleep” or cool down as I’ve recently learnt – so now our volunteer firefighters have a hard time fighting this.

Throw in lack of respiratory PPE…

I have no idea what the hell this government is doing. But they’re just reactive and not even acknowledging our Indigenous People in this environmental war.

If people think this doesn’t touch them… It does. The shit air quality here sucks. It might not impact you as a healthy person, but your body feels it. Your parents feel it. Your kids feel it. Your pets feel it. Our animals feel it. Heck our birds. They’re delicate creatures. We might not be in the eye of the storm but it’s here. Now, even if we don’t see it here, we should care. We’ve got friends and fam up there. We might not know them but they’re still fam. Just like we’d want someone to take care of us, advocate for us, you should care for others out there.

What happens here impacts them and what happens up there impacts us. (I’m convinced Toronto is the stepping stone for raccoons to survive up north lol.) This world is interconnected in so many different ways. One strange rock does an excellent way of explaining this…. The sand from Africa is needed by the Amazon forest… And it’s wild that it travels an ocean distance. We have an amazing planet that needs to be taken care of. We really need to hold our politicians and CEO’s accountable. We need changes now, not later.

Trying to do simple tasks is hard. Especially when you’re just tired all day.

Cycling to the hospital on Tuesday. That was difficult. Then experiencing stomach issues.be that was a terrible idea. Even my water was warm like tea. It was not refreshing whatsoever.

Walking around at the lake for about three hours was a terrible idea as well. That smoke did get to me. Made me feel nauseous. In the evening when I was on my laptop editting photos or working on that slide deck… I had to turn off the A/C because it did get too cold. But having the a/c unit going in the bedroom, this caused this open window to drawn in outside air… So that ended up giving me a headache.

Today, I’m just tired. Have no energy to do anything. I wanted to go to Service Canada but that just flopped with how I was feeling. The coffee didn’t even help. The energy drink didn’t help.

Getting yelled at about trying to utilize police services sucked and just put me in a more shut down mood. It sucks because I do try to take care of AL. But when I need that help, she doesn’t want to be there. There is frustration with everything going on but yelling about it doesn’t help. Working on a plan helps. Trying to solution it. And telling her I need accommodations or body doubling. Like I don’t want to go yell at the frontline workers and that’s why I’ve avoided it. I don’t want to perpetrate that cycle of abuse and anger and make someone feel shitty. And I don’t want to go there and be let down for the millionth time. I don’t want to be on my bike having a meltdown. I don’t want to be in car having a meltdown. And when the government can’t even figure out its own programs and you see how much they make… You realize they really shouldn’t be making that much. They can’t take accountability for their shitshow.

The thing is then you go the route of social workers who have no resources. Police forces have no resources and they experience these traumatic experiences. They burn out because it’s a vicious cycle of caring and not getting anywhere. But we have MPs making $404k/yr wasting $3,500 on flights for their family while average Canadians struggle.

I’m starting to think they need to be brought down to $100k and the rest of that involve is spent on resources properly. Limit how much they travel. No family expenses. Do teams calls. Work on reducing rental prices and home prices. If they truly cared they wouldn’t be in there for the money and wasting it.